The “Connect & Barf Method” Never Works!


Imagine you are at an after work business mixer. You meet somebody for the first time, shake hands then exchange business cards. What would their body language be, and what would they say if the next thing you did was try and sell them something?

Exactly 🙂

So why do so many people think it is ok to do this when connecting online for the first time?

I could rattle off many examples when this has happened to me. I am stunned and bewildered every time. I am now less and less surprised because it is becoming more prevalent in the online space.

Relationships take time to develop, and people typically only purchase from those that they know, like and trust. As cliche as it is, it’s true!

Somebody can’t possibly have a hot clue what you are all about after you have just said “hello”. Most people would think you were an alien trying to offer your products and/or services after only an initial greeting.

Here is what I focus on as I start to build a relationship with somebody:

  • Thank people for connecting when they confirm your “Request To Connect” on LinkedIn
  • Get to know them, and actually listen to them
  • Make notes about people that you want to stay in touch with, and follow up periodically
  • Provide value, and build trust. Show that you have the right intentions with your actions

People will see right through you if you are only in this to sell. But if you focus on them, and show that you actually care about building long-term relationships, you will be much more successful when it comes time to present your offer.

Don’t just “barf”, that’s plain lazy!

  • Leave a comment if you were “barfed on” shortly after connecting with somebody online
    • What happened? How did you handle it?
  • Did you stay connected, or did you “un-connect” shortly after?


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