PLEASE PLEASE always remember this 🙂
What is success? It seems that the world defines success as money and material possessions. And that continues to be more apparent every day.
I have chosen to determine success by asking if ones success is “perceived” or “true”. If we take a drive down any wealthy area in any city and look at the expensive homes (with all the luxury cars parked out front) we right away come to the conclusion; “those people living there are really successful”.
But if we were to dig deeper (which I have been able to do in my career as a financial planner) we would find out that many are far from being “truly” successful. Behind some of those beautiful homes and luxury cars lies a mountain of debt – and if those living there had their incomes dry up it would cause serious financial distress within weeks. I suggest to my clients to define their own “true” success. And even though we can’t live our lives without money, it usually comes in 4th or 5th on the list when determining success.
Can we actually control our success? Yes and no. I worked at one of Canada’s largest banks for close to 20 years and my last two were horrible. I hated it. We had completely different views on what a client relationship should look like, what was a good use of my time and what wasn’t, and how/what I was going to be compensated for. Many people (if not the majority) have to put their values and beliefs aside for those of the employers. Generally this isn’t a compromise, but a one way street! If we did and said what we truly believed, most would be out of a job by end of day. And as I alluded to in my first thought above, people become defined by the incomes they earn and, more troubling, the debt they have accessed to maintain “perceived” success. It’s pretty rare someone leaves a higher paying job to go back to school and pursue their dream job. In most (and I mean 90+%) cases that is impossible. So yes we can control our success, but choose not to because we are not willing to change our lifestyles.
Most people “hitting the reset button” are not doing that by choice. Not at all. It’s usually because they have not held on to their employment (rightfully or wrongfully so). I see it all the time; People working for the same employer for 20 years and doing a fine job (I assume so otherwise they would have been let go years prior) and one day they are shown the door (sometimes with a decent severance and other times next to nothing).
People become expendable – at least their incomes do. Thankfully a vast majority find new or similar careers fairly quickly. For me, my “reset” was by choice. I loved my job. But I lost respect for my employer. So I made the choice to reset 18 months before actually stepping off the proverbial cliff. I was going to control my destiny, not the bank. I made sure I was in a good place financially and mentally (hard to say which was more important). And I did everything I could in those 18 months to make sure my move was going to be successful. And 36 months after making that decision, I can happily say I am in a better place emotionally and getting there financially. I left a job that paid me over 6 figures a year to become an independent planner with a starting income of $0.00. So easy to see how that could have prevented me from ever leaving.
Why do we care what others think? Years ago you would have never caught me eating lunch alone in a restaurant. Yikes what would people think? Am I a loser? Now I don’t even care about the people around me when I’m out for lunch or dinner. That person you met that day at the concession stand had nothing to feel embarrassed about. They obviously were concerned about your perception of them and regardless you resolved yourself to having a view of them (based on their job?). We all do it. And unfortunately by looking a certain way (wearing a suit), living in a nice home, driving a fancy car that is how we are judged by those around us (for the most part). These are all material things showing our success (either “perceived” or “true”). The best way to make an accurate assessment of someone is to get to know them. I think we would all be shocked by who is really successful and who is not!
How can I get people to think differently (going beyond that first impression)? I can start with my kids. The great thing about being a parent is we can help shape the way our kids think. My advice to my kids is be a good person, try not to judge others, and most importantly don’t overly concern yourself with what people may be thinking of you. Easy to say but harder to do. By staying true to yourself and your values people will gravitate towards you. Even if they are friends that drift away – they will be back. I know from experience.
This was an email sent to me from a university friend (Kevin Kuryk) in reply to an email that I sent out to my list. I was blown away, tremendously flattered that my content resonated with him enough and inspired this type of reply.
Leave a reply below, or if you’d rather email me, shoot me a note at: TimMushey@gmail.com
Autumn can be rough.
Many people battle the blues after summer ends, especially northern climates like where I live when it can cool off quickly. We already have snow here in Edmonton, Canada 🙁
The days get shorter, there is more darkness, and it’s common to get stuck in a rut.
There are many distractions, in my case kids in school, other activities to participate in, and the blessed TV 🙂
We all have our guilty pleasure TV shows that we MUST watch, and many new programs start in September. Of course several sports leagues are in full swing this time of year. I battle this annually.
Like anything else right?
But when I need a little boost, I head directly to my social platforms and check in on my favourite people. I crank up the frequency of listening to podcasts, reading blogs, and books to keep me sharp and motivated.
Whose content do you check out when you need that extra boost?
I love to watch, listen &/or read:
Jane Anderson – https://www.jane-anderson.com/ Need some perspective on your personal brand, focusing on LinkedIn? Check out Jane’s content, and new book!
Fizzle – https://fizzle.co/ The Gang over at Fizzle just makes me happy 🙂 I listen to their podcast regularly, and I find the delivery so honest and entertaining! The team over there is awesome!
Angela Duckworth – http://angeladuckworth.com/ Her Ted Talk on Grit captivated me. I listen monthly, and am buying the book as soon as I can. I heard her recently on a local radio station and was so excited. The premise of her content is so helpful, and should motivate us all to do great things. Check out her Ted Talk http://bit.ly/1fZKIno
Mel Robbins – http://melrobbins.com/ She’s so awesome! I still watch her Ted Talk video “Stop Screwing yourself over” several times per year. She’s funny, incredibly direct, and gets you thinking for sure. It was a nice surprise to hear that she is now regularly contributing to Success Magazine. Check out her very popular Ted Talk http://bit.ly/1dK6evy
Paul Castain – http://yoursalesplaybook.com/ Paul’s one of the first guys that I followed in the sales and leadership space, and I’ve never wavered! He’s the man! His consistency of showing up, ability to inspire but give tough love when necessary is much needed. He’s a whole lot of fun, doesn’t take himself too seriously and has a HUGE LinkedIn group to compliment his business.
Pat Flynn – http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/ I’ve been following Pat for years. Smart, sincere, family guy, amazing content AND a super singer 🙂
Gary Vaynerchuk – https://www.garyvaynerchuk.com/ & http://askgaryveeshow.com/ I listen to him every day if possible. He’s a no bs type of guy, call’s it like it is, and an incredibly entertaining guy. He’s a pioneer online and is Massive!
Anthony Iannarino – https://thesalesblog.com/ I LOVE his perspective on sales and leadership. He’s been around forever, has a new book out, and is a content creation machine!
Nametag Scott – http://hellomynameisscott.com/ Scott’s been wearing a name tag for almost 6000 days, and makes money off it. How cool is that? You gotta check him out. His Ted Talk is http://bit.ly/22M4TMn
Tim Mushey – http://timmushey.com/ & https://sellleadsucceed.com/ Now wait a minute! Why the heck would somebody put themselves on a list like this? This is not being arrogant, cocky or some weird attempt at being funny. But I regularly look back at my old content to remind myself that I am creative, I can make a difference and people like what I’m doing.
There have been many “ah-ha moments” over the years when I read a blog post, watched a video, or read all the comments I got for something I posted online and say, “darn, that was pretty good”.
Just a reminder. Would love if you took a minute to comment with who inspires you, and has go-to content that picks you back up when you are down (but not out).
I have a 26 tip checklist waiting for you! Just enter your email address and name below, and come join my community!
Hope you had an amazing summer if you live in the Northern Hemisphere!
If you are in the Southern Hemisphere, you’re just getting started 🙂
I have a fantastic time with family, friends and colleagues. I seemed to be travelling most of the time and loving every minute of it!
Here in Edmonton, Canada, the weather seemed to change over night, and fall is upon us suddenly. Hopefully we are not done quite yet!
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do with my business going forward, and I’m still throwing around a few different ideas. One thing I do know is I want to create more videos. I’ve really enjoyed the process, need to refine a few technical things and keep getting better at it. Look for some video series from me this fall.
In the meantime, my brain is in “branding-mode” 24-7. I was researching some quotes recently and came across this gem from Richard Branson.
Such a great description of personal branding by one of the best!
As cliché as it sounds, putting yourself out there through social media channels can have tremendous benefits.
When I first started online, I was so sceptical, and afraid to reach out to industry experts. But as I reflect back after many years, I am quite proud of the list of FANTASTIC people who I have been able to connect with.
This list is not to brag, but just to illustrate how powerful it can be to just put yourself out there and not be afraid to reach out to anyone. I have corresponded with many of these people through social media.
Was it always them?
Do some of them have assistant that help with their social media interactions?
But I’ve formed a special relationship with Paul Castain, and help run a LinkedIn music group with him.
Click here to check out the group.
Barbara Giamanco interviewed me for her podcast.
Click here to check out the interview.
Michael Boyette reached out and asked me to guest post on his blog.
I had the distinct pleasure to speak to several people on this list via Skype or phone, most notably Dan Waldschmidt.
One thing I decided to do early on in my online journey, was to reply to key people when they send out emails to their lists. I got to know Mary Beth Storjohan and John Corcoran like that.
Did I mention that Kim Garst and I tweet each other about NHL hockey 🙂
Oh yeah.. Gary Freakin’ Vaynerchuk accepted my request to connect on LinkedIn! It took 18 months, but darn it, he did it!
Social networking can be very fun, and incredibly rewarding if you take the time to engage and put yourself out there. But if you think that you will not be able to connect with certain people because they are “too big”, you might be surprised who actually responds and who you become connected with.
Happy connecting, and let me know if you need any inspiration how to reach out to industry leaders.
You can reach me anytime at Tim@TimMushey.com
We are all busy. There never seems to be enough time in the day.
Running with full-time jobs, extra curricular activities, responsibilities with kids, volunteer things… I could go on and on.
For those of us who are working towards other business opportunities while working full time, it can be a daunting task to find the time to make it all happen.
Check out this quick 90 second video with my 5 best tips for finding the time to get it all done 🙂
Way way back in 2011, in a galaxy far away, I was at a conference in the incredible Rocky Mountains of Jasper, Alberta, Canada. I was there for two days and had the distinct pleasure of staying at the Jasper Park Lodge; the best accommodations in the area!
Before an evening function, I decided to go for a late afternoon run. Behind the resort was a lake, golf course, and what looked like a running path through the woods. I figured, there were worse places in the world to run, so I would check it out!
Part way through my run, as I was avoiding bears and other wildlife (just kidding), I noticed another man doing the same thing. We crossed paths at some point and I said, “hello”. One thing lead to another and I found out he was from Atlanta, Georgia. I told him I grew up in Winnipeg, Canada. I also found out that he was a hockey fan, a referee and all round sports guy. As fate would have it, Atlanta was about to lose their NHL hockey team (the Thrashers), to Winnipeg (the Jets) and I was getting hockey back in my hometown after a 16 year absence!
You know that awkward moment when you sometimes say hello to somebody, they reply, and an uncomfortable pause insues from there?
Yeah that did not happen this time!
We were totally engaged, and that common love of professional hockey, and the strange occurrence of one team leaving the league, and one joining really bonded us. We have stayed in touch periodically over the last five years, and FINALLY Skyped yesterday. Where would we be without social media to keep us connected?
We’ve promised to speak again in July, stay in touch more frequently, and explore a business collaborations together.
Why did this all happen?
Because I said hello on a run.
And he replied hello.
Then I found out where he lived and what he did for work.
Then I probed some more and found out that he was a hockey fan.
Then we connected the dots to that strange situation where his hometown hockey team was moving to my hometown.
Then we agreed to exchange contact information.
Then we connected on some key social media channels like LinkedIn.
Then life got in the way and we did not correspond for long stretches of time. But we were still connected.
Then I sent him a note to say that my new website was live, and he should pop by and check it out some time.
Then he said great, and suggested that we set up a Skype call to finally speak in person.
And that lead to yesterday.
This does not have to be complicated. You just have to put yourself out there. Always remember this takes practice. I have all the respect in the world for people who are shy and more introverted. That’s ok. I totally get it. I’ve stuttered all of my life. I’m sure that I stumbled on some words when I was speaking with Jim, but I did not care. I’m well past that now.
All I said was hello.
“It’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet”.
Sorry for some reason I started to write Adele lyrics!
I actually just said hello to him!
Now I have a fantastic connection for life, and a great story to share at speaking events, training sessions and via social media for years to come.
I’m a big proponent that everything happens for a reason, but I’m also a believer that good things happen to those that put themselves out there and are laser focused towards achieving their goals.
I’m always in “networking” mode, and I learned that from my parents who were teachers. They are still well-known in our community, and are always locked and loaded with a friendly smile and a warm “hello” waiting for a stranger or friend.
You never know where it might lead.
Here is the link to another of my blog post that hopefully inspires you to start more conversations.
I was not the smartest, nor the most naturally gifted student in school. But I did pretty well overall. High school was better for me than university, but I will elaborate on that during a different post 🙂
The one thing that has always given me a competitive advantage over my peers is my dedication to hard work, and never give up attitude. Call it heart, call it ……. well grit like Angela Duckworth does in this awesome video.
Just ask the kids that played hockey against me when I was growing up. Rarely was it a fun experience for them. I would never back down and always played my heart out until the final whistle.
Waking up at the start of a short week is tough enough, but hearing the news that Gord Downie from The Tragically Hip has cancer makes it tougher.
He has brain cancer, and it’s terminal. What a kick in the gut that news is!
We hear news like this all too often, but when it’s somebody in the spotlight that has giving you so many happy memories, it really stings.
Gord and his bandmates hit the bar scene in 1983 in Ontario, Canada and the rest is history. They never hit it big in the U.S. although they did play once on Saturday Night Live. I’m not sure if they really cared about the U.S limelight though. Because for well over 30 years, they have been Canada’s band. No matter the city, no matter the venue, no matter the weather, Gord and the rest of the guys, always brought it, every freakin’ night.
Three things stood out for me about Gord Downie when I heard this news.
I have so many memories of great shows. Who could forget the annual summer festival “Another Roadside Attraction“?
On an 8 hour bus ride for our high school grad trip in 1991, some classmates kept playing the Tragically Hip “Road Apples” album over and over again. I was so sick of it. But after I returned home, and reevaluated my disdain for the band, I quickly changed my mind and was all in. I’m still not sure what flicked the switch and made me a super fan!
I travelled to Australia in 1998. Whenever the Tragically Hip music came on, it was a “Canadian Bonding Moment“. I can vividly remember several occasions when we, the backpacking Canadians, hit the dance floor and sang their anthems word for word.
Several Australians asked me during my trip, “Who is that?” They are awesome!
I actually dubbed (recorded) a cassette tape (yes it was 1998) for a boss of mine who wanted my “Hip Mix” while on that trip.
Here are some of my favourite lyrics from Gord Downie:
If I die of vanity, promise me, promise me
If they bury me some place I don’t want to be
You’ll dig me up and transport me, unceremoniously
Away from the swollen city breeze, garbage bag trees
Whispers of disease and the acts of enormity
And lower me slowly and sadly and properly
Get Ry Cooder to sing my eulogy
At the hundredth meridian (hundredth meridian)
At the hundredth meridian (you’re going to miss me)
At the hundredth meridian (trust me)
Where the great plains begin (at the hundredth meridian)
At the hundredth meridian (at the hundredth meridian)
At the hundredth meridian (baby, you’re going to miss me)
At the hundredth meridian (trust me)
Where the great plains begin
Sundown in the Paris of the prairies
Wheat kings have all treasures buried
And all you hear are the rusty breezes
Pushing around the weathervane Jesus
In his Zippo lighter he sees the killer’s face
Maybe it’s someone standing in a killer’s place
Twenty years for nothing, well, that’s nothing new
Besides, no one’s interested in something you didn’t do
Wheat kings and pretty things
Let’s just see what the morning brings
Angst on the planks, spitting from a bridge
Just to see how far down it really is
Robbing a bank, jumping from a train
Old antiques a man alone can entertain
It takes all your power
To prove that you don’t care
I’m not Cordelia
I will not be there
I will not be there
I will not be there
There’s no simple
For anything important
Any of us do
And, yeah, the human
Of living with
Courage, my word
It didn’t come, it doesn’t matter
It feels strange even trying to put a business spin on this, but humour me for a moment.
There are not a lot of celebrities that go by just one name in Canada, but I would venture a guess that most people between the ages of 24 and 55 would know who “Gord” or “Gordie” is.
I can’t imagine what Gord is going through right now, but I hope he feels some comfort that he has the love of a nation behind him. It’s amazing to me, that he’s planning on doing one final tour for some combination of himself, the band, his family and the fans. Or maybe it’s for everyone 🙂
It’s going to be incredible, and I CANNOT wait to see it!
Click this link to the announcement of his illness:
Thanks Gord! For everything!
The longer I love, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church….a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.